When you don’t have beside you someone, who was always beside you that is when you feel lonely. Loneliness is more than a feeling that is where you feel insecure and vulnerable. Loneliness is not when you are alone physically that is when you are alone mentally.
Even when you have thousands of people around you, None of them draw attention and your mind goes after the one who is not around you. That is what loneliness is all about. When you miss someone so badly and so deeply that is when your life becomes a hell.
I said you feel vulnerable because your memories will haunt you and Nights will become dark and days will become darker than nights. There will be sleepless nights most of the times and sometimes there will be nights where you will be in undefined state(where you don’t know whether you are sleeping or awake).
Your memory will take you for a ride through the past and this journey will make you more and more vulnerable. There will be smiles lighting your face sometimes and there will be tears emerging out making your face dull too.
You will remember things and incidents which happened years back in time and that will be surprising because “you” will be very different from the “you” you used to know. Someone who don’t even remember what he ate for breakfast remembering things which happened few years back is strange from himself isn’t it??
You will prefer to do things the way you did when that person was around even in their absence. You will be reading mails and SMSs which that person sent you and which you couldn’t delete (some will be even years old… :D) like you are taking an important exam the next day and the questions are going to come from those mails n SMSs. Some mails and SMSs will have only few words like “Congratulations”.
There will lot of unsent SMS and mails are which you would have typed for hours together but wouldn’t had courage to send the same. You might have found out by now how I know about all these things because I have gone through this many times and going through it now also.